If NBA Players Were Actually Represented by Rap Songs

The NBA Playoffs are upon us once again…aka it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Not only could this mark the fifth season my Cleveland Cavaliers push to the finish line, but it could be the first year in many that my non-home team the Houston Rockets win the title.

Related – Cleveland Isn’t Just a City, It’s a Lifestyle

Players on each of the sixteen teams competing for the coveted trophy have such distinct quirks such as Harden “eating” or Kyrie wearing his face mask, and encompass their own cities’ style. But what if those signature moves were represented by a rap song? Here’s my top picks:

Gordon Hayward (Boston Celtics, Small Forward): First we have to start with the most dramatic event of the 2018 NBA season…Gordon Hayward’s ankle break. The Celtics player whose season ended less than a six minutes into game one, can only kick off this list with the *ironic* Bone Thugs classic. “I Tried” is a perfect way to describe Hayward’s short lived season, as he was a victim of the streets, aka the court. 

Chris Paul (Houston Rockets, Point Guard): As I’m writing this, I’m also watching Round 1, Game 2 against the Wolves and Chris Paul pulled off this crazy backspin to score a 2-point basket. For that move along, he’s basically “Back to Back” by Drake, for the way he shows up for his team, averaging 18 points per game. 

Joe Ingles (Utah Jazz, Small Forward / Shooting Guard): Leading in personal PFPGs (Personal Fouls Per Game) for the 16 teams currently in the 2018 NBA PLayoffs. It’s only natural we dedicate “Wild For The Night” to the Utah Jazz player because he clearly says “fuck being polite” every time he steps onto the court. 

Lebron James (Cleveland Cavaliers, Small Forward / Power Forward): No one dunks like Bron. On his way to 30,000 career points, Lebron James had a total of 1,680 (as of Jan 2018) dunks on his record. Not only does he slam into the basket on average of 2 times per game, he does it with a smoothness no one can replicate. Every time he jumps to the net, the Q gets into party mode, igniting our own Space Jam. 

Kevin Durant (Golden State Warriors, Small Forward): Kevin Durant is a god. That’s all. While the Warriors may have made their way to the first three (back to back) finals without him, the OG player has proven that he can rack in points with any jersey on. As they say, you can take the man out of the game, but not the game outta the man – KD is always in his “Element“.

And finally, Tristan Thompson. 

Photo cred | NBA

Writer & Visual Storyteller | I think mumble rap is like disco, a bad phase.

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